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Modern Buffalove: Back in the saddle

I have been touched by feedback from readers who are single not by choice, but by the death of their partners. This group of people needs support to find love again without apology about appropriate timing.

All the studies prove it: Love is good for your health. Sex is good for your health. Laughing is good for your health. So make dating and finding love a priority, no matter what your age. I know many locals who are actively dating right into their 60s or 70s. Friends of mine in their 60s seem to have a lot of luck with the online service

Please continue to share your questions and feedback so we can continue to enlighten and learn from each other. My hope is that each month we will grow not only as the city of great neighbors, but also the city of great lovers!

Here’s a recent email.

Hi Maureen,

I lost my wife last year after being married for 44 years. It’s been hard, especially when I have to stay home by myself. I’m 65. I need tips. I’ve been out of the dating scene for a long time. What do women my age like?

I’ve got my first date with a woman tonight. I’ve met her before, but in a group. I’m not sure if I should hold her hand when walking or not? I don’t want to be too forward. Also, when we say goodbye do I try to give her a kiss or no? Cheek or mouth?

I’m nervous.


Dear Mark,

I am sorry for your loss, and it’s a life altering event that takes adjusting. I think it’s wonderful you are interested in finding companionship again. Good for you on your first date!

She must be interested in getting to know you more if she knows you already and agreed to a date—so I’m sure holding hands would be welcome. Go for it. Find an opportunity to help her over a rock or a curb, and stretch out your hand for her to hold.

A kiss on the cheek is rarely offensive, so you can’t go wrong there at the conclusion of your date. It’s also a good way to set your intentions going forward. If you are not interested in pursuing things romantically, a handshake or pat on the back is a more appropriate signal.

If you two are finding it comfortable holding hands and she is reciprocating affection, then she may welcome a kiss on the lips, especially considering this is not a blind date.

Regarding what women like or what they are looking for: Women want a date to invite to a party, or to have dinner with, or to do anything they enjoy alone but find sweeter when shared with someone else.

Many women also appreciate a man who has a plan: a specific itinerary for your evening together, instead of just trying to wing it. That alone will be very attractive and comforting for a woman on a first date.

Send me your questions at

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